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opinionated 32, Female, United Kingdom - 41 entries

Dec 2010
11:51 AM AST

On music

Hello.

I've decided to vent on a topic that has a huge spot in my heart and great personal value to me. Recently, Sam and I got into an argument about music. It started with me (gently) mocking David, who's sixteen, for knowing all the lyrics to Total Eclipse of the Heart. Now, I hate, loathe, despise, and DETEST 80s music. I also find it amusing that a sixteen-year-old guy knows the lyrics to what I consider to be one of the cheesiest, most absurd songs ever written. My older brother's response to my laughter and disdain for other kinds of music that we subsequently brought up (like Neil Young, GNR, Depeche Mode, Blondie, and many more) went along the lines of this:

"You have no leg to stand on when it comes to horrendous musical tastes. Some of your favorite bands from the past and present include: Muse, Coldplay, The Fray, among others. Now, I do not pretend to be a musical expert, but Bruce Springsteen has won 20 grammy awards. The National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences has deemed him worthy of 20 recognitions. Your beloved Coldplay has only won 5. So next time you decide to bother David about listening to a timeless 80's power ballad, just think for a second. Essentially we all share the same musical taste, and if David decides that he wants to branch off and listen to crappy 80's love ballads that is absolutely fine. I mean c'mon, you never hear us giving you shit about the vampire movie soundtracks you listen to. Perhaps next time you should focus on refining your own musical tastes before insulting others."

This made me furious for many reasons. I feel like I should address this point by point, but the more I think about it, the more furious I get, so I am just going to give my views on music.

Now, I actually do dislike 80s music. I don't especially know why. Maybe it's what I call the laserbeams: the extremely synthesized and unnatural sounding accompanying instruments. It's also the drum beats, which on many of the cheesy power ballads make me grind my teeth (snare! SNAAAARE!). The overall cheesiness is also rather repellent to me. Now, that does NOT mean that I hate all 80s music. I love David Bowie. Love Billy Joel, Queen, some Aerosmith, the Dire Straits, Fleetwood Mac, and several more. (I know that not all of these artists were created in the 80s, but I like the music they produced during that time.) I can even listen to Michael Jackson sometimes. But overall, yes, I do dislike that decade in music immensely.

As for my tastes, they include the aforementioned bands, along with classic rock a la Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, Eric Clapton, Jeff Beck, etc, classical music including Debussy, Chopin, Tchaikovsky, Dvorak, Beethoven and many more, and a bunch of recent stuff not limited to, yes, Coldplay, Muse, Florence + the Machine, Broken Bells, Jack Johnson, RHCP, and Explosions in the Sky. To add to that, I listen to Johnny Cash and Ray Charles, a bunch of music from movie soundtracks, and many other artists for which I can't give an overall genre.

I know that I have natural tendencies towards some music. For example, as a pianist, I know that I'm inclined through no conscious decision to like piano music. Maybe I can appreciate it better because listening to it, I can appreciate the complexity or simplicity of it, and this engages me while I listen. I love harmonies too, and if a song has interesting ones or unusual chord progressions and melodies that I might not have guessed, then hooray! You had me at "Is there anybody out there?". Lyrics, too, have a part to play; while there are some songs I would certainly not sing out loud in front of my mother (see Howl by Florence + the Machine), if I feel a connection to the poetry of it, then it's an added bonus. Other than those, I cannot honestly give an explanation as to what music makes my heart soar and speaks to my soul.

Now, I do not delude myself: I know I am a musical elitist. But that's not based upon any standards but the ones that exist inside my mind. I dislike synthesizers (goodbye 80s and much of the dance music from today). Unless they're masterfully performed, highly measured and mathematically precise music holds no interest for me (the reason I can only listen to some performances of Bach: he's lifeless otherwise). On the other hand, there's got to be some sort of order to it, be it in the melody or the rhythm; abstract music doesn't do it for me (jazz). Also overly simplistic music--if I can walk over to the piano and figure out the chord progression after listening to the song ONCE, it's not a good sign (many early Beatles songs, for example). This... pickiness, I suppose, does not limit itself to any one kind of music, nor did I consciously decide to dislike the music that fits into these neuroses. In other words, I didn't CHOOSE the things that irritate me. I also don't decide to arbitrarily hate all music from one time; if they happen to fit into one or more of those categories, then it's likely I won't like them.

There are exceptions, however. These aren't absolutes: I dislike most dance music, but I like Take it Off by Ke$ha, as weird as it is for me to admit it. Once in a while, I can even be persuaded to listen to Babe by Styx, despite disliking Styx more than almost any other band. I don't approve of rap as a rule, but I can listen to some Eminem (yeah, I know, of all rappers...). When I am in an extremely bad mood and all I want to do is mope, then I put on The Fray, because I find all their songs (including their happy ones) to be extremely depressive. I could go on, but those illustrate my point fairly well.

What pissed me off most about Sam's diatribe was the latent superiority. He starts with calling MY music crap, and then ends with saying that we should respect each other's muscial preferences. I can only assume that "other's" signifies his. He too suffers from this musical elitism, although he won't admit to it, being convinced that what he considers to be crappy music is universally acknowledged as rubbish. Not so, and he wouldn't listen when I informed him of this.

Everyone is entirely entitled to listen to whatever suits them. I don't really care. (Unless you blast it from your speakers and expect me to appreciate it... David.) If 80s music makes you happy, go for it. But then don't tell me to stop listening to Coldplay because you think they're awful. I've been listening to music as I write this and taking note of what comes on. The list runs as follows:
Changes - David Bowie
Symphony no. 8 in F major--Allegretto scherzando - Beethoven
Green Eyes - Coldplay
Fall Line - Jack Johnson
Heartbreaker - Led Zeppelin
One Last Shot - Klaus Badelt
A Rush of Blood to the Head - Coldplay
Lollipop - Mika
Us and Them - Pink Floyd
Blinding - Florence + the Machine
Bell Bottom Blues - Derek and the Dominos
Crazy Little Thing Called Love - Queen
Wash Away - Joe Purdy
Vienna - Billy Joel

So there you have it. I don't think I've said anything unreasonable, but Sam's little... thing had really been bothering me, and since it's impossible to have a discussion with him, at least I can get all of this off my chest here.

Song recommendation for the day: let's hit next and see what comes up... Me and Bobby McGee by Janis Joplin. Go for it.

AB

PS: The vampire soundtrack thing ended about two years ago. He's lucky I didn't bring up Children of Bodom.

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ayush 39, Male, India - 4 entries

Dec 2010
8:47 AM IST

I would be fully self expressed in my work place and with everyone. will be my confident self esp with women..

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ronsw 41, Male, India - 9 entries

Dec 2010
9:48 PM

The Last Candle

Why am I feeling like I'm holding the last candle?

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Abhijeet 53, Male, India - 44 entries

Dec 2010
12:55 AM IST

My first tooth

My first tooth flashes out. Its the lower jaw and the second from center towards my right. I was amazed by Bhaj's eyesight that he traced it inspite of me hiding it all the while. I thought i will give Dad a good one, when he gets back from 'Manthan' at Barog heights and inserts his index finger. Alas the secret was out but no probs i will get him in the morning when he is fast asleep :)�

Tags: barog, Tooth

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lyubomirb 36, Male, Florida, USA - 44 entries

Dec 2010
10:04 PM CST

This is good bye

I wish to stay longer but it is not up to me. I want to grow stronger but I've met my highest level. What leaves me hopeless is knowing I am not going to be around, so I've let them have their chance. It would be selfish of me to take something that�I will only have for a short amount of time. For them it is a life time. Any day now I will go away. Into a world of spirit, which is living only in the minds of other people. I am not scared. I was once, before I was dieing. I was so scared. knowing that I will disappear into nothing. But most important I was scared to die without comfort.�Falling into an unknown darkness. I was never going to see her again.��

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martytx07 37, Male, Texas, USA - 53 entries

Dec 2010
8:10 AM EST

TGIF!!! :D

Ok, well as you can see I'm posting another post before the year is over so definitely a lot better than I have been doing! Um, what to talk about... well it's almost Christmas! We did names this year to save on money, we have a big family so definitely going to save money. I'm getting the kids (nephews) gifts still though... Well I finished my first semester of school (only 2 classes this semester) and I did good, made A's in both classes. I'm gonna shoot for 4 classes next semester. I've been out of school for 3 years! So yeah, wanted to start off slow and saw that it wasn't that hard to do with working a full time so going to push it a little further. It sucks that I'm so far behind but oh well, better late than never. Right now I want to be a teacher... I think it's just something that I will love. I really like helping people understand something, especially math. Even this year, I was helping my co worker with her math. She's in college too so yeah. She sort of sucks... LOL. She has a problem with making excuses for herself or like making her self seem smarter than she is. Like she will say how she was so smart in high school but she failed the TAKS? Um, ok LOL. I'm not trying to hate but if you're smart and doing so great in your classes, how the heck do you fail the TAKS? I sort of told her that maybe her school just sucked and they didn't teach right LOL. I actually think she was a little offended by it. Well me, I did great in school and I was commended in all my TAKS test so yeah. I mean, I know a lot of things come easy and if things don't come easy, I study my butt off! I mean, that's what you have to do. Well she only took one class last semester and gonna take two this semester. I'm just thinking man, that's going to take too long! Even for myself, two classes is not enough! I'll be in school forever at that rate! So like I said, four classes it is for next semester! I hope I can handle it. I know it's going to be a challenge but I think I'm ready for it! My relationship status: still no boyfriend but not sure I want one either. I'm just trying to worry about me right now but I mean it would be nice to meet someone special I guess. I was talking to this one dude I really, really liked a while back. We met on a gay app on the iPhone and we got to chatting and he wanted to meet so met up at a park and just walked around and talked. Ok, well I was first stand offish about it because he had told me ahead of time how short he was. 5'5 or something like that LOL. Well anyways, I get at the park first and when he gets out his car he's short of course but he's so cute! We walked around talked, got to know each other and chilled for about 2 hours. I got to know a lot about him. It seemed so romantic even though we didn't do anything, Then as we were about to say our good byes we ended up talking some more, sat down on the curb and looked at the stars and yeah, I know! Cheesy but it's how it really happened. So anyways, it was somewhat chilly so he was like, "Want to go sit in my car" So we did, talked some more, and at this time I was sort of like, um, does he like me or not? So anyways, we are talking and he starts saying something about his hair, and I just say that I think it's cute. And rub his head and he leans in for a kiss and of course I kiss back LOL. He later texted me that he wasn't sure I liked him but of course I did! LOL. So anyways, long story short, we hung out again, texted, talked whatever for the next two weeks, then he went off to California for the weekend. I got to say that he says he's "confused" I guess and non one knows his interest for guys so I wasn't going to text him over the weekend because I knew he would be with friends. Well anyways, Monday comes along and I send him a text and no response, cool, probably busy, Tuesday text him nothing. Wednesday text him and I'm sort of like, WTF at this point. Tell him if he wants me to lose his number I will, I don't want to feel like I'm bugging him. He finally texted me back saying he had just gotten back, was studying for finals, he is confused but wants to be friends. Ugh, straight/confused boys! So anyways, I decided I'm going to see if he even texts me first (like he use to!) and I wait like 5 days and not once does he just send me a text to say good morning, what's up, nothing. So I'm just like, OK, I'm done. I send him my farewells and told him I would delete his number, he could do the same and I wished him the best of luck in whatever he does. Like I said, I really liked him and I'm wondering why. I mean, I've hung out with a couple of guys and this particular one was definitely my favorite. I think what I like the most was that he seemed straight. The way he talked, walked, wore his baseball cap, it was all really straight/masculine. And that's what it's about to be gay for me. I like men. Period. I don't like those guys who are more flamboyant than females, I like men. Eventually I guess, that was the big down fall. He is straight/bi whatever and I don't know if he could face the gay part of that. :( Oh well, hopefully I'll meet someone again who can act like that I hopefully I can sweep him off his feet enough to keep him� :D I'll try to keep y'all updated ;)

Tags: Gay Life School

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chuchi08 29, Female, Texas, USA - 4 entries

Dec 2010
2:04 PM EST

have you been in love before? Well dont fall to hard because it might be a mistake.

Tags: LOVE

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Abhijeet 53, Male, India - 44 entries

Dec 2010
9:52 PM IST

Hehe hey , haha hah. I am on my foot Sir, i am gonna have jolly good fun now :)

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mourningcloak 70, Female, New York, USA - 14 entries

Dec 2010
8:32 AM

Move On Ahead

DEPRESSION. Can't shake it. Don't want to do ANYTHING but sleeeeeep. I think I am disillusioned. I wanted so much more out of my life. I thought I was going to make a difference in the world. HA! I thought I would create an empire or save humanity or just be awesome. I am in a shell. Locked in. But what is locking me in? What is the key to let me out? The truth will set me free. What is that truth? I'm not sure what is going on. I wish I had something to look up. Someone to relate to. Why am I so depressed??? I am healthy (for the most part). It's my dreams. My dreams are evaporating. I am losing my grip on them. What dreams? ? What do I want? REALLY want????I want to create. I need to work harder. I will continue to pursuit my video making. I will move ahead on it. Stop procrastinating. Just do it. There is plenty to do. Don't stop Mary. Push ahead. You are almost there. You can keep learning about it. Keep working for it. Make it happen. Show Sean it can be done. Stop doubting yourself. These people don't know you. Or what you are capable of. You can do this. Just do it! OK!!

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1 comment(s) - 10:47 AM - 12/19/2010

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whoami? 40, Female, Nebraska, USA - 60 entries

Dec 2010
4:04 PM EST

Longest angry sentence ever

Do you ever just get angry because every minute of your pitiful life you know you should be thankful for being alive�but you're not and�you know that you're not living up to the oughtas and shouldas, and the people that suppposedly love you oh so very much, the ones that you should be so thankful for and you should find yourself in an utter state of bliss when speaking to them, are the ones that sadly bring�disappointment because for some reason or another when you are speaking to them you are as far from a beautiful state of fulfilling bliss as you feel you'll ever be simply because the cloud that surrounds you is so dark, so thick, so debilitating, that you can't see or hear the beauty flowing from the existence of that person in your life, but rather all you can see and hear�are the demons that have complete and total control of your every thought and emotion and regardless of how postive you try to make your thoughts, or how happy you make your face look, or how much fake joy you put in your step, you know you're not fooling anyone, especially not your pitiful self or the all knowing God that created you and expects you to live by the fruit of his all powerful ever present Holy Spirit that never ever seems to show up or work in and through you like everyone says he should therefore you just get more angry because the one who is actually supposed to be able to help you out of this deep dark pit is the one who falls silent and distant, leaving you to feel alone with your emotions and negative thoughts that send you farther and farther from the state of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control that you constantly long to be in but never ever can seem to obtain and the hopelessness that defines you is a constant reminder that as much as you want it and as much as you ask for it or try for it you will never receive that which you know is the only answer to your problem of anger and frustration and sadness that has made you so ugly that even your own eyes can't stand the sight of what appears in the mirror that stands before you and the one that hangs in your mind because it screams the truth of who you really are and all you wish you�could�cease�being but all that you know you will always be so even though you decide that turning from the obvious image you see is the only way to freedom, when you turn away the bondage goes with you and the truth that you tell yourself is real hangs on you like the weight of a million earths dragging you further down into the deep dark pit that has become your home and no one knows that is where you reside for they are living their lives on the surface joyfully skipping through life by the power of the fruit your palate longs for more than anything, all while you nibble on burnt leftovers thrown at you from the father of lies who has become your closest friend not because you love him or he loves you but because he is strong, powerful and so persistent that no matter how hard you try to fight him and no matter how fast or furiously you flail your arms, he wins because he wins every time and the only thing you can hope in is the fact that the big book says one day he will lose and one day every knee will bow to the one who will have victory but you can't help but wonder where the victory is now and why you have to fight alone and what in the world you are�doing wrong that is keeping you from winning the battles and why every loss has to steal more and more of your life away and every loss makes you more and more angry and ultimately you wonder, is this this the life that I'm supposed to enjoy so much and is this the life that I was created for and if not will someone please help me out because this is not fun and this most definitely isn't how I want to live the remainder of my existence however long that may be and those who are unfortunate enough to have to walk beside me�may realize at some point that they can't handle it and they�may eventually throw their hands up in the air�and walk away and that scares me horribly so please oh please someone help me out of this and fill in the hole then cement over the top because it's an awful place to be and I'm tired of being angry.

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